Aging With Dignity and Grace

As our parents are getting older and we as their children are tasked with their care, it's easy to fully take over and begin to treat them as children in many situations. What I believe we want for our parents is for them to age well, with dignity and grace. There are a few things that we can do as their children and primary care givers that can aid them in this process. Remember, this is new for them as well. Feeling a loss of independence is not easy for anyone, let’s keep that in mind.

I would like to mention three main categories in which our parents will begin to show signs of aging and what we as their children can do about it. The three categories are Psychological, Social and Financial.

Let’s begin chatting about the psychological state of our aging parents. During this time, you may notice a decline in their cognitive ability to remember things, or to make important and rational decisions. When this begins to happen, please remember to speak to them with respect. Don’t talk down to them or try to take over decisions for them. Try to include them as much as possible. They may recognize the fact that they are losing some of their independence, but we can ease the process with how we treat them during this difficult time. If you notice a swift decline in cognitive abilities, this may be an indication of improper medication use. This could be handled as simply as getting them a pill organizer to ensure they are taking the proper medications at the proper times, or they may need to see the physician to have their dosage levels checked and corrected. Taking the time to notice these changes can have a great impact on the care of your aging parent and the relationship between you both.

As our parents get up in age, their social state can also move into a decline. They can easily fall into a state of depression or loneliness. Some reasons for this decline can be your parents seeing their friends and others their age passing away. This can be depressing for anyone. To help with this, we can make sure that we are keeping in constant conversation with our aging parents, not just telling them information, but including them in and asking about things that interest them. Keep up a true relationship with your parents. Visit often, call even more, and keep them up to date with family information and news interest when necessary.

The final category we can aid our parents with is in their finances. When visiting, have you noticed any envelopes or bills that have been unopened or unpaid? Are there problems with utilities being shut off? In these difficult situations, please handle the hard conversation with respect. Not trying to be their boss, but coming along side them and aiding them in getting finances in order. This may look like you taking over a majority of the bills and giving them one or two to be in charge of, or adding yourself to their accounts so that you are notified if things go unpaid.

Remember that the ones we are caring for are our parents. We want to make sure we are treating them with the utmost care, respect and love. We want them to age with dignity and grace.